our journey through partnership
 

Melissa’s story of how we met…

Christiaan + I met in the summer of 1995, 27 years ago as Christiaan entered his freshman year of college. I was a sophomore, living in one of the small upper class dorms on campus. That fateful first day, Christiaan walked up the stairs of my dorm with a luminous smile on his face. As I caught his gaze, I instantly felt an overwhelming sense of joy. I think I brushed it off as attraction at the time, but it was a distinct experience for sure. To my surprise + amusement, he was moving in right across the hall. What magical destiny was this?

We got off to a bit of a bumpy start when he proclaimed that he “would never date me, because [I was] too tall.” Apparently, I accepted this as a challenge + after a few months of becoming great friends + seeing a few Phish shows together, he finally caved. We had just spent a month snowed in at school during ‘winter intersession,’ which left school nearly abandoned with most students enjoying winter break at home. We spent the time relatively isolated becoming best friends; having snowball fights, listening to music + enjoying the kind of freedom that two newly unsupervised teenagers are best known for. As that January came to a close he proposed we date. No moments were wasted in my saying “YES.”

If I were to go into detail about our entire relationship it would likely occupy a series of books, so for now that’s a brief glimpse of how it all started. Christiaan sums up the 27 years of our journey so far, below the images...

christiaan’s summation of the journey so far…

Melissa + I have been together for 27 years. We met in college, initiating a bond that has grown continually stronger over the decades.  In the early days we recognized many shared passions in music, math, snowboarding, parties, + traveling.  

After graduation, we moved to Newport, RI + began careers in Environmental Engineering + Computer Programming. We hit the road for live music whenever possible, + had incredible experiences exploring + enjoying music all over the country.  It was clear that travel was a priority for us both. Engaging in the dynamics of spontaneity, decision-making, + compromise, we grew + learned more about each other. 

After working and living near each other for a few years we decided we should move in together to explore a new dynamic.  A deeper dive, more to learn + tune into all while continuing to keep adventure, music + play at the forefront. Things went well, with the exception of one singular two week break up, we had been together for 7 years + I proposed. Neither of us had been in any rush to get married, but in in June, 2004 we did the thing. It was mostly so that everyone else would understand the level of commitment we were already feeling towards each other. 

We had decided to move to San Francisco to be around many friends until one morning just a few weeks after the wedding. Melissa had been feeling nauseous + when she told me, I was the first to inform her that she was pregnant. With the impending arrival of our first child Cobe Dylan, our plans pivoted. We decided to stay in CT for a while to be around family. Melissa quickly schooled herself on natural birthing, hired a couple amazing midwives + we had the birth at home in our little beach cape in Niantic, CT.

Two years later, just after the birth of our second son, Kai Xavier, we were ready to move to Colorado. We booked a trip to look at properties, but when we returned the idea of opening a coffee shop in CT was seeded. 

Within a few months, in collaboration with Melissa’s family, we opened Bean & Leaf in New London, CT.  It was a beautifully hand constructed café that was an integral part of the New London community for 7 years.  It opened new relationships + connection to artists and people in that community + built common space for artists, musicians + connoisseurs to come together. We grew relationships in music, fashion, art, and of course coffee & tea.  Two years after Kai was born we got some surprise news. There was another baby on her way + she was serious. That baby was Naiomi Sahana, after chilling in the womb for an extra month longer than the two boys, she came blazing out, at home unassisted, ready to make her mark on the world.  Just like that we were a family of 5, planning to do it all.  

Melissa had resigned from her engineering position when Cobe was born to stay at home with the kids. She was teaching yoga + freelancing + with her free time, threw herself into new family-aligned interest including nutrition, alternative medicines, art, education, and personal growth practices.  This was a catalyst for change as she was learning about spirituality + consciousness. 

The coffee shop had many great years, but as our family grew + the kids got bigger, we moved to a larger property further away + decided to close the doors to the coffee house. As those were closing, the doors of the dOMe (our current geodesic home) opened wide. We began hosting live music events. Curating intimate experiences to celebrate the music + dancing that we both love so much. 

We’ve hosted 44 shows including artists such as [Rising Appalachia, Dirtwire, Club D’elf, House of Waters, Barika, Will Bernard Trio, Congo Sanchez, Dub Apocolypse, Organically Good Trio, Tribe of Love, Natalia Clavier and many more]. 

As our children have grown + matured (now 14,16,18) so have we, but our commitment to passion, love for synergy, and desire to play remains strong.  We continue to push each other’s edges; encouraging each other to grow, deepen our understanding of the world, + never stop learning or exploring what this incredible universe has to offer.